Women Career Tips

Top 4 Reasons Professionals Are Afraid To Negotiate Salary, Remote Work and Other Benefits – UNICORE

A part of UNICORE’s collection “Supporting At this time’s Workforce”

In a recent Salary.com survey, nearly half– 48% — of these studied indicated that they’re all the time apprehensive in relation to wage negotiations, with one other 39% reporting they often really feel that approach. Solely 13%  indicated they by no means get nervous relating to negotiations.

It’s a common problem – how one can ask for what we wish and get it efficiently, whether or not that’s a bump in wage, a promotion, distant work preparations, or different key advantages and adjustments in how we want to work. The truth is, my current e book The Most Powerful You and analysis concerning the 7 most damaging power gaps that 98% {of professional} girls face that stop them from reaching their highest objectives at work, shares that 77% of ladies are experiencing what I name Power Gap #3: Reluctance to Ask for What You Deserve. That’s a really excessive majority who’re probably leaving a fantastic deal on the desk on account of their resistance to ask (and negotiate) for what they need. 

To study extra about how we are able to overcome our fears and reluctance to barter on our personal behalf, I caught up this month with Andres Lares, co-author of Persuade: The 4-Step Process to Influence People and Decisions and managing companion at Shapiro Negotiations Institute (SNI), a world supplier of gross sales, affect, and negotiation coaching and consulting since 1995. Lares joined the staff in 2009 and his multi-disciplinary and lingual expertise broaden SNI’s skill to successfully educate and seek the advice of in a variety of industries, languages, and cultures.

In Persuade, co-authors Lares, Jeff Cochran and Shaun Digan — completed gross sales, negotiation, and affect specialists — ship a concise and insightful tackle how one can remodel your skill to steer others whatever the setting. 

Right here’s what Lares shares:

UNICORE: Andres, out of your expertise what makes us so intimidated and reluctant to barter for ourselves, for promotions, raises, plum assignments, and so forth.?  

Andres Lares: Earlier than we bounce into the act of negotiating our subsequent job supply, you will need to perceive why we’re afraid of negotiating within the first place. A research from Payscale exhibits the development could also be extra prevalent amongst girls, with 31% saying they’re uncomfortable negotiating wage, in comparison with 23% of males. However whether or not we understand it or not, negotiating is a standard exercise in our lives. 

Many individuals worry the negotiation course of as an entire for quite a lot of causes — lack of preparation, not understanding the negotiation course of, not realizing methods and techniques that may be employed throughout negotiation, or when or why to make use of explicit methods or techniques. 

Listed here are what I’ve seen are 4 of the most important fears or challenges individuals have in partaking in a negotiation:

Worry of being taken benefit of
In the beginning, we’re afraid to lose and/or get taken benefit of. Take into consideration a time you or somebody you already know went to a dealership to purchase a automobile and was fearful about getting an excellent deal or the salesperson benefiting from them. You hear tales on how individuals had been in a position to get unimaginable offers nevertheless it feels such as you won’t be so fortunate. 

And, even worse than not feeling nice concerning the end result is having a destructive expertise, which additional develops the worry or discomfort of negotiating. With the intention to fight this sense and procure an optimum outcome, earlier than you head into your subsequent negotiation, set up the very best objective, the way you’re going to again it up, and once you’ll stroll away, together with the minimal you’ll take.

Feeling unprepared
Feeling utterly unprepared or missing in enough preparation is a quite common purpose why many dread negotiations. We merely aren’t ready to have the dialog and the back-and-forth. We didn’t count on negotiation to happen or we simply merely didn’t put together for it as a lot as we must always have and really feel caught off guard. 

Feeling unprepared or blindsided doesn’t really feel good, and we are able to really feel humiliated and embarrassed by that so we worry it occurring once more, even when now we have some management over it – by simply making ready! In the end making ready isn’t enjoyable and we’re all very busy, however when you have a confirmed course of to observe that will help you turn into ready, you are able to do it rapidly and it’ll enhance your probabilities of a optimistic end result.

Worry of the unknown
Another excuse we worry negotiation is being afraid of the unknown and the way it will play out. We don’t know what the opposite facet is pondering or feeling or what they’ll do or say. We are able to’t predict the result and the uncertainty might be scary. Sometimes, individuals don’t take pleasure in uncertainty and because of this, attempt to keep away from it. 

One of the simplest ways to cope with this worry? By pondering by way of quite a few totally different outcomes and situations upfront, realizing the way you’ll react and reply to those numerous outcomes, and coming to phrases with some uncertainty. 

It’s about understanding that we are able to’t take away the uncertainty altogether however we are able to scale back its influence. Simply as we can not take away our feelings altogether all through this course of, we are able to study to handle our feelings and scale back the potential of saying one thing within the warmth of the second that we are going to remorse or that may crush our probabilities of getting what we wish. 

Worry of pushing too arduous
One other ultimate frequent worry round negotiation is that we’re afraid we push too arduous. Usually, we’re involved with how our counterpart will see us, particularly when negotiating with individuals we all know, together with pals or others who will proceed to be in our lives. We’re afraid that if we push to get what we wish, we might injury the connection. 

For instance, once we ask our bosses for a increase, we’re involved they’ll suppose we’re pushy, grasping, or ungrateful. We worry this might probably injury what was as soon as a strong relationship and it is likely to be troublesome or awkward to proceed working with them. To keep away from this, you want to have the ability to justify your ask in your personal thoughts, and you want to strategy it empathically when presenting it to others. And you want to have readability round your goal upfront.

Caprino: Do you see key variations in challenges and resistance to negotiating between women and men? 

Lares: Sure, I’ve actually seen in over a decade of coaching, teaching, and researching within the space of negotiation that there’s a gender hole right here. Women and men are each usually afraid of negotiation however girls extra so. Women and men are each delicate to being too aggressive and damaging the connection, however girls extra so. And women and men each lack confidence round negotiation, however girls extra so. 

This is without doubt one of the causes I believe our coaching has been so profitable over 26+ years. It empowers individuals by giving them an equalizer – a course of (Put together – Probe – Suggest) that will increase confidence and improves efficiency. Understanding that we management solely our preparation is without doubt one of the key methods to minimize the worry and discomfort round negotiating. 

Asking nice questions helps to realize data but additionally develop a relationship with the opposite facet, and study and deal with the opposite occasion’s wants. And it results in lastly proposing an answer in a approach that maximizes your share whereas satisfying the opposite facet. 

Caprino: What have you ever see the most important blunders that unseasoned negotiators make that damage them?

Lares: There are numerous however some of the distinguished we see is being concerned in negotiations once they don’t even understand it. Individuals see negotiation as one thing just like bartering in a flea market, with a particular time and place, however all the pieces that occurs earlier than that units the tone as properly. 

Take into consideration the salesperson who has a wide-open on-line calendar in reserving a brand new shopper. The potential shopper can’t assist however surprise, “How busy can this individual be if there are such a lot of open slots? And, in the event that they aren’t busy, how a lot will they need this deal? Most likely so much.” These particulars all have an effect on the opposite occasion so it’s necessary to look holistically.

Different blunders are round pondering, “I’ll simply wing it” and never asking enough or acceptable questions as a result of they’re in problem-solving mode…main them to fail to flush out the core downside from the opposite facet’s perspective. As a substitute, they make many false assumptions.

Caprino: In your e book, you speak concerning the PAID methodology, to handle and transfer by way of our fears to barter. What are these steps?

Lares: The PAID methodology is pondering by way of these key parts to the negotiation properly upfront of the method, together with:

Precedents – Assume to your self, “Have I engaged in these kinds of negotiations earlier than with this particular person? In that case, what can I glean from these conditions or how can I take advantage of these conditions to assist persuade the opposite facet?” 

Options – Together with alternate options within the dialogue offers you the facility of choices. Not solely do alternate options create leverage, however asking for a number of features without delay (comparable to paid break day, wage, title, make money working from home capability) means that you can work by way of numerous alternate options collectively, which strikes the negotiation from a hard and fast sum end result (“I need this, you need the other”) to collaborative (“Let’s work by way of this collectively to get to an answer that works for each events”). 

Pursuits – We can not overstate the significance of asking questions and being curious. Asking considerate questions helps to collect data and develop a strong relationship with the opposite facet. Should you observe it up with lively listening, it demonstrates to the opposite occasion that you simply care about them and their priorities. Examples of some considerate questions are:

“What’s most necessary to you?”
“Are you able to inform me extra about that problem?”
“Has one thing like this ever occurred earlier than?”
“Why has that turn into a high precedence?”

Moreover, all too usually we aren’t particular or clear sufficient with our personal pursuits and goals. For instance, do you need to get a $5,000 increase in any respect prices and can depart if you don’t obtain it? Would you like a increase between $2,500 – $5,000? Or, are you hoping for a increase and for those who get it, you’ll be thrilled since you didn’t need to ask? These are very totally different pursuits and will subsequently translate into very totally different approaches. 

Deadline/Timeline – Lastly, decide if the negotiation outcome has a deadline and in that case, work backward from that date with a set timeline. Then use that timeline to maintain the momentum going by way of conversations and call. By setting a timeline that each events comply with upfront, you make it much less probably you’ll keep away from the dreaded stalling that may happen when different priorities creep up or maybe one of many events desires to keep away from the negotiation. 

Caprino: You share in your e book concerning the strategy of “scripting” – what’s it and the way is that useful?

Lares: Scripting is taking the time to put in writing down the anticipated dialogue for a gathering. It prepares you for what you’ll say and what you anticipate the opposite facet will say. You could not have the ability to predict the precise course of occasions, however you’ll be able to rehearse the situations you anticipate. By pondering by way of and writing down scripts for the best way you suppose occasions will unfold, you’ll have a strong basis for coping with the twists and turns of precise occasions. Scripting additionally means that you can acquire confidence within the message you are attempting to ship. It’s beneficial for crafting not solely the message you are attempting to convey but additionally how you’ll do it. 

Usually, negotiation conservations are tied to sturdy feelings, particularly once you’re arguing for one thing in your favor that you simply deem vitally necessary. It’s essential to go away feelings out of the argument, as finest as you’ll be able to. Usually, it’s inconceivable to take away the emotion, however it’s about managing it – about not reacting when you’re emotional as a result of you’ve gotten ready sufficient, previous to being in that state, to make the best determination whatever the stress and feelings concerned.  

General, an upcoming negotiation can really feel intimidating and even scary however by taking these strong, doable steps, you may be higher ready to anticipate potential objections and outcomes, and be extra able to construct and talk a robust case for what you need that addresses the opposite occasion’s wants and needs in addition to your personal, which is able to pave the best way for a extra profitable end result for you each.

.For extra data, go to https://www.shapironegotiations.com/negotiation/.


UNICORE, M.A. is a profession and management coach, speaker, educator, and creator of The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths to Career Bliss. She helps professionals construct their most rewarding careers by way of her Career & Leadership Breakthrough applications, speaking and training, Finding Brave podcast, and her programs The Amazing Career Project and The Most Powerful You.


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